Relationship Issues that make or break the relationship.
1. What are the unique positive qualities of your mate in a healthy relationship?
2. What are the deal breakers that are unique to you?
3. What is your love language? By this, I mean the 5 love languages that are the premise of Dr. Gary Chapmanâ€™s renown book. I do not expect you to have read it. I found the link below for you all. Just read the summary of each. It will literally take you 1 to 2 minutes to screen through those. What does this mean to you when it comes to how you would like / need to be loved?
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/Links to an external site.
And if you decide to take the personal test to see your love language, it took me 3 minutes. Mine is Quality Time / Words of Affirmation / Physical Touch / Acts of Service / Receiving Gift. In that order. I do not need you to all share it per se. The main point is to KNOW your love language and what it means to you.
Be honest with yourself and PLEASE STAY AWAY from cliche answers if you would. The safe answer would be something like, “Someone who is there for me, respects me, and loves me for who I am.” Or, the next most common one I’ve read is, “I need a God fearing man”. This assignment is supposed to provoke something from deep within your soul that you may have never truly thought deeply enough. If your surface level answer can describe 50% or more of alive human beings out there, then it is NOT what we will be discussing in this week. Basic level human decency should not be the UNIQUE features about a partner who will likely be the most important person in your life besides your kids. It should be understood that someone this special should unequivocally know how to be a decent human being.
Think about it. “Someone who respects you and there for you.” That’s about 70% of all whom you come in contact with on a daily basis, like coworkers, student body, faculty, starbucks employee, etc. “Someone who loves me for who I am.” That should be 100% of every one of your regular friends. If they do not, they are not your friends….. “God fearing man/woman.” That should be about 99% of everyone at your church, synagogue, or mosque.
These vanilla answers that people are so readily give really doesn’t fit who you truly are and who you would need, in order for him or her to be your ONE AND ONLY long term partner. Hence, PLEASE stay away from mundane conversation. This should be one of the most intriguing conversation we have in this class.
If you have to think about this for 24 to 48 hours to come up with a uniquely fitting statement for yourself, so be it! It should be that special. If not, then think deeper. If this comes across as a soapbox, I apologize, but my previous classes have bored me and each other with this topic as they missed the entire point of this assignment.
Please keep it short and concise, so that everyone can read it, digest it, and participate. About 250 words or less should do. Perhaps one of us will have a perspective you had not considered before, concerning your degree plan. Remember that discussions involves more than one person, not just your point of view.